Transitioning from Peer to Manager

Early on in my career, I was given the opportunity for a promotion to lead the team I was on; this meant becoming senior to folks who had been my peers. While I was appreciative of the opportunity and others recognized my work ethic merited the offer, no one prepared me for the awkwardness of this transition. So. Very. Awkward.

Recently, I was approached by someone going through a similar transition and wanted some of my advice. I am sure I’m not the first to give this kind of advice and, obviously, your mileage may vary, but there are some basics that everyone going through this kind of thing should know.

(1) Yup, it’s hard — but you can be adults about it!
Many folks assume it’s hard because they are bad at something; the truth is, managing people is hard and managing people who were your peers/friends can be that much harder because it can change the nature of your relationship.

When I was on the receiving side of this, watching my friend get promoted to be my boss, it was actually quite easy because she and I had discussed our aspirations. She knew what I was trying to achieve and she was supportive of it. We were working together to help me get to my promotion, too, and we knew that her promotion was not a barrier to mine in any way. This requires two hard working adults who don’t seek drama — that’s not always guaranteed. But, in the end, working with her helped me achieve my goal; it was truly a win-win for us both.

Again, this requires an acknowledgement for both parties that it isn’t a zero sum game.

(2) Provide the Psychology Safety to Uncover What Folks Want
It sounds kind of simple, but it’s important to know what the people on your team want. You might THINK you know because you used to talk but I would caution against making any kinds of assumptions. It’s better to have the conversation (and folks respect that) than to avoid it altogether and potentially make incorrect decisions in how you support someone’s growth.

Going back to my own personal life, I appreciated when I had managers who created the psychology safety for me to discuss my aspirations without judgement. It was important that I felt heard.

As a manager now, I try to have a 30 minute session with each new joiner of my team to ask them a few key questions including: where did your last manager leave off with you? What did you like/dislike about them? These kinds of questions can be very helpful to ensure you aren’t assuming you know this when transitioning from teammate to manager.

(3) Take the Lead but Hold Everyone Accountable
When you are hired to lead, you have to take the lead. That means having difficult conversations (whether with your team, or with others) and ultimately setting an example of how you want your team to operate.

And that means it’s ok to hold your team directly accountable for how their actions, or lack of action, can impact others / the bottom line at work. Sometimes it is difficult for folks who haven’t transitioned to a management role to understand why you might want them to do something a certain way so it’s important for you to explain the performance you want to see and, most importantly, what impact that will have. If you have to think about the impact, it might not be worth giving the feedback — so something to keep in mind as, now that you are a manager, you don’t have to tell someone how to do their job as long as the job is getting done effectively.

That said, when it’s not being done effectively, it’s important to give that feedback on what you need them do and how you are there to help! “We need to do better” isn’t harsh — it’s fact and now you and your direct report need to figure out how you can better set expectations, help them manage time, whatever it is that might help them overcome their current performance hurdle.


Gifting at Work: How Do You Handle the Holidays?

The holidays seem to be filled with societal pressures that push us toward consumerism. That said, there’s something really nice about receiving a gift, especially when it comes from a source you don’t usually expect: work!

There are some unspoken rules and general best practices to keep in mind to navigate this appropriately in most situations.

Continue reading “Gifting at Work: How Do You Handle the Holidays?”

What Do People Say When You Aren’t in the Room?

Recently, I was in a meeting where I mentioned that we’d need to recruit someone to help test. When I mentioned a particular colleague’s name, everyone’s faces lit up; she’d be the perfect person to help on this effort! This reminded me of something that is so simple but yet alludes many when it comes to work: if half the battle is showing up, the other half is how you show up.

But what exactly does that mean?

Continue reading “What Do People Say When You Aren’t in the Room?”

Evaluating a Job Offer: How to Assess Culture Fit?

Recently, I was asked about how to assess the culture of a new organization before you join. As I mentioned in a prior post, it’s really hard to figure out whether you are joining a place where you’ll thrive and grow or if you are joining an organization with a toxic culture.

Here are some tips I use and recommend when assessing a potential company to work for.
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When to Say Goodbye: Do You Need to Stay 2 Years at Every Job?

A former colleague reached out to me earlier this year with a situation. She found herself in a position at a company that didn’t quite measure up to her expectations in terms of work/life balance and culture. It’s really hard to assess these things upfront and especially difficult for folks early in their careers with less ability / means to be choosy when job hunting.

Her question for me was: do I really need to stay at this position for 2 years to make this look good on my resume? Or can I start looking for a new position now?

My response to this question is nuanced because life isn’t quite so black and white.
Continue reading “When to Say Goodbye: Do You Need to Stay 2 Years at Every Job?”

What Homeownership Taught me about Technical Debt

In 2018, my husband and I embarked on buying our first home. We purchased an older home (built in the 1920’s as far as we know) and it was in pretty decent shape. We knew there were some cosmetic things that could be updated (we dreamed of adding a new kitchen and finishing the attic) and that we’d tackle them over time.

What we didn’t realize was the tremendous iceberg beneath the surface: the water line to the house was lead and needed to be replaced for health reasons because at the time, we were planning to start a family; the gutters needed to be fixed because the holes led to puddles that froze over and became ice skating rinks in unfortunate places (like our front door); the home had zero insulation and would need some blown in because otherwise we’d be paying for more natural gas than we really need. I could go on and on. You get the idea.

And you might be wondering, so what does this have to do with digital products?

It is very similar to the concept of “technical debt.”
Continue reading “What Homeownership Taught me about Technical Debt”

Ownership Mindset

In the past, I’ve heard folks say that a Product Manager is the CEO of their product. This kind of thinking creates a strange founder-like mental model where folks feel work will simply fall apart without them so they can’t take a vacation. You can also sub Product Manager for any other ‘Lead’ role within a digital product team (think Lead Engineer, Product Owner, etc).

In short, this line of thinking is not sustainable.

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Review: Targeting a Digital / Physical Retail Experience

I did not grow up with big box stores but boy do I really enjoy a good Target (or shall I say Targét given the fancy designer collaborations they do from time to time)! And, because I do shop at Target, I’ve become very familiar with their iOS app (if you know me, I’m an Apple person so can only speak to this version).

The Target app is probably one of the best apps I’ve seen in the retail space hands down. It does a phenomenal job of blending the digital and physical shopping experiences in a seamless way. The UX of the app captures an understanding that Target’s customers will take their phone everywhere, including into their local store, and in that context it becomes a companion to guide you through the store. Alternatively, it’s just as simple to sit on your couch and have stuff delivered straight to your door either from your local store in minutes or via a warehouse in days. Continue reading “Review: Targeting a Digital / Physical Retail Experience”

Ruthless Prioritization

As product folks, we are asked to drive value and in order to do this we need to be somewhat ruthless about what we do, and consequently what we do not do. I always refer to this as ‘ruthless prioritization’ but it’s not quite as antagonistic as it sounds.

Why does it feel ruthless?

I want to address why it often feels ruthless or downright “icky” for us to prioritize work this way:

  • You are saying no, possibly a lot: you might feel like a killjoy as you constantly re-focus your peers on the less fun stuff that you might need to achieve. Or, this could lead to difficult conversations and/or escalations (depending on the type of company you work at).
  • You are ignoring known customer or operational pain points: this one took me a while to overcome; you know your customer, you empathize with your customer and so when you see something wrong, you desperately want to fix it. In this case, you can’t — and that’s okay, you will run yourself ragged if you aim for perfection.

What does it mean to be ruthless?

While being ruthless is associated with not showing compassion, I’d argue that in this case, it’s about taking the passion out of it for a second. Continue reading “Ruthless Prioritization”